Men are like...

1. Newborn babies: They're cute at first, but you get tired of picking up their crap.
2. Coffee: The best ones are rich, hot and can keep you up all night.
3. Computers: Hard to figure out and never enough memory.
4. Coolers: Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
5. Chocolate bars: Sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips.
6. Power tools: They make a lot of noise, but it's hard to get them to work.
7. Remote controls: Easy to use, and usually lying around a TV.
8. Shag carpets: Soft, fuzzy and extremely easy to walk on.
9. Vacuum cleaners: They're not much fun, but at least you get to push them around.
10. Road kill: They usually just lie around until they start to smell.
11. Soap operas: They're fun to watch, but don't believe everything you hear.
12. Pillows: Eventually, even the best ones get soft and lumpy.
13. Old car tires: Balding, full of hot air, and it never hurts to have a spare.
14. Plastic wrap: very easy to see through.
15. Department stores: Their clothes should always be half off.
16. Horoscopes: They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
17. Plungers: They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.