The Perfect Day for Her:

08:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses 
08:30 Weigh in 5lbs lighter than yesterday
08:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants
09:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil
10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo and comb out
12:00 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
12:45 Notice ex-boyfriends wife, she has gained 30lbs
13:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
15:00 Nap
16:00 3 dozens roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer
16:15 Light workout at club, followed by gentle massage
17:30 Pick out outfit for dinner, prim before the mirror
19:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing
22:00 Hot shower (alone)
22:30 Make love
23:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
23:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms

06:00 Alarm
06:15 Blowjob
06:30 Massive dump while reading sports section of USA Today
07:00 Breakfast, Filet mignon and eggs, toast and coffee
07:30 Limo arrives
07:45 Stoli Bloody Mary en route to airport
08:15 DFW - Private G4 to Augusta, Georgia (Coffee, SI and Wall Street Journal)
09:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club
09:45 Front nine at Augusta (2 under)
11:45 Lunch, 2 dozen oysters on the half shell, 3 Heinekens
12:15 Blowjob
12:30 Back nine Augusta (4 under)
14:15 Limo back to airport (Bombay martini)
14:30 Private G4, Augusta to Nassau, Bahamas (nap)
15:15 Late = afternoon fishing excursion with all female (topless) crew
16:30 Land World = Record light tackle Marlin (1249 lbs)
17:00 G4 back to DFW, massage & hand job en route by a naked Kathy Ireland
18:45 Shit, shower, and shave
19:00 Watch CNN news flash: Clinton resigns, Hillary and Al Gore farm animal video released and authenticated.
19:30 Dinner, Lobster appetizers, Dom Perigon (1963), 20 oz. New YorkSteak
21:00 Remy Martin and Cuban Partagas cigar
21:30 Sex with three women
23:00 Massage and Jacuzzi
23:45 Bed (alone)
23:50 12 second, 4 octave fart, dog leaves the room
23:55 Giggle self to sleep